Thursday, 12 June 2014

How to turn the World Cup to your advantage

And so it has begun. The date we have all been waiting for with bated breath. That we have been dreaming about since Euro 2012.
Okay.. yes... I am being sarcastic.

I mean I like football I really do. I grew up in a house where football wasn't just a matter of life and death - it was much more important than that. My dad toured Europe with Liverpool in its hey day and I've lived and breathed the highs and lows of the beautiful game.

Yet anything in excess tends to turn my stomach (even Double Deckers).
So once I've got over the novelty of cold beer and a BBQ mid-week I have a feeling the tournament is going to leave me feeling a bit tormented.

Ever the resourceful person, I've come with some ways I can turn this around to my advantage (sssh don't tell the husband).

This is how the World Cup is going to work in my favour this year....

More sleep

If the baby wakes just as we are going to sleep - I will not fret. If he wakes with the larks - I won't sweat it. I'll just whisper the words: "what games you got saved on Tivo?" and my man will be up like a shot. The distant roar of a football crowd can be my lullaby back to sleep. Aces.

Catch up on crap TV

Before we had kids we wouldn't think twice about watching TV in separate rooms for long periods of the night. We would have got to chat over dinner or before we turned the lights off. Now if we don't sit on a sofa together for some of the time between 8-10pm we would literally be like Norris and Emily Bishop. The downside is that it is really rare we watch something we both like. How can this man not like Grey's Anatomy, Revenge and Made in Chelsea. I mean really! But now it is guilt-free Orange is the New Black catch up (and yes I am a genius for saving it). I am a-coming Binky - all will be fine now I am here.

Father's day taken care of

I'm not a big fan of Father's Day as the husband is hard enough to buy for. There is only so much Molten Brown bubble bath and Percy Pigs this man can take. This year though I can offer to cook a roast dinner and then take the kids out so he can gorge himself on foreign finishes.

You can eat crap food

Two words people BAR SNACKS. Hell yes snacks galore. I might be watching Secret Eaters in the t'other room but man I am doing it in style - pass me the Doritos baby and save me some Onion Rings. Another beer - oh okay why not. It is the World Cup afterall.

Spook them out for fun

Swallow some key facts and randomly throw them into conversation - especially when his mates are around. You will amaze. Stuff like at last we have goal line technology and getting them to guess who the most expensive player in the World Cup is (Gabe's growth hormone mate Lionel Messi with a market value of 139,6 million euros). High five guys. I am a cool wife (who is just nicking a beer and going to watch Kramer versus Kramer - less weeping!)

There will be some thrills and spills

I actually love to hate it when I get sucked into the football frenzy. It is quite tense. I end up pacing. And swearing. And having mini heart attacks. Penalties are like horror films - you just can't watch but watch you do. I still remember the euphoria of Euro 2000 and beating the Netherlands and the epic Germany qualifier game a year later. But you know I am getting too old for all this hoo ha these days.

*What's that Mr Gorg - there is a great goal? No I'm busy. There is a penalty in the box? I'm really not interested. Who's arguing with the ref? I'm watching Marrying Harry. Rooney is about to score... oh man, okay. Budge up....I guess Piper will have to wait another 4 weeks*

Gabe says: "So me and you are hiding in the garden for the next four weeks. Cool.
One thing why is Daddy crying?"







18 comments:

  1. Ha ha I love this Alison! Thank you for giving me some hope over the next few weeks. I have this great image of you watching 'secret eaters' and stuffing your face lol!

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    1. The not so secret eater haha xx Only 25 days to go *sobs* xx

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  2. This is funny! My younger son has already used the World Cup to his advantage to get out of summer camp today. He gave me a long story about how he's waited for four years and needs to see these games, etc. And I caved! :) Enjoy your guilt-free solo TV time!

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    1. What a clever boy. I am really enjoying my trashy catch up :) x

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  3. This did make me smile! I've been waiting for a post like this :-)

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    1. Thanks Zena. Enjoy the world cup x

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  4. Once again Alison - I'm framing the tips!! The Mr has managed to rope the kids into the football frenzy. I have no hope of getting near the TV!! xx

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    1. I am getting slowly dragged in - knew this would happen haha xx At least we are away on FRi/Sat x

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  5. Brilliant! I can't wait to catch up on all the crap TV I've been saving up! And WITH snacks - genius

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    1. Got to have a good selection of snacks. Fancy an onion ring or bacon fry ;) xx

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  6. Haha! I love that astonishing fact tactic! Always good for impressing the hubs' mates! Cannot wait to meet youuuu! When Friday Comes. That is a footie (mis)quote. But you knew that. xx

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  7. Haha thanks Jess. World cup free woo hoo xx

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  8. Did I know you liked Greys??? If I did how could I have forgotten????? God you are going to be SO bored by me banging on about yang and McDreamy on Friday!! Not long now bab xxx

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  9. Great post :-) This really made me smile, I love it! #Sharewithme

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  10. Brilliant post! Luckily we are not football fans in this house so nobody has to endure it (although of course we will watch the England games!!).

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  11. I absolutely love your spin on it and might be guilty of all these too or at least a few of them while the games are playing so will mommy. hahahaha Your post always make me laugh I love it. I even gasped that we love the same shows greys anatomy revenge and even made in chelsea. WINNERS where does he not see it? hahaha Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me. #sharewithme

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  12. Brilliant - I love your strategy of swotting up on some key facts to drop into the conversation! Unfortunately this wouldn't work with my other half because, even though he's following it to some extent he's not such a huge footie fan that he would ever have a conversation about it with a mate I don't think... I could be wrong! It would more likely impress my male work colleagues... #sharewithme

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  13. I have not yet been bitten by this football craze as my husband is not into it but it looks fun and I love that you are finding ways to make it work for you. =P #sharewithme

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